Laura and Gerry are at it again. Death finds them close to home when a tenant is found in the dumpster behind their apartment building. Laura is thrust into the “who killed Denny?” mystery while she does battle with a tenant and dodges a school janitor the life of a college student is never boring but she wishes it would be!
Character Quote: Laura Fitz
“Dead Men Don’t Swing is a bitingly funny, deliciously bawdy and fast-paced murder mystery in which “death by sexual misadventure and a wayward poisonous snake” (among other things) make for pure entertainment gold.”
Excerpt
Prologue
The woman was dressed in a satin negligee and a pair of four inch spiked heels. She wasn’t wearing much else. She awaited her lover for their usual afternoon together. Her husband was a fortune five hundred financier who was never home. She spent the majority of her time going from man to man in the buildings social club. What a crock that was; everyone knew that it was free sex for a bunch of horny people. Some did partner swapping; others like her trolled the other singles and did a few threesomes. She disgusted herself but this beat popcorn and movie night with the cat.
Her lover was knocking at the door. It was time to launch into the grand seduction and move the affair to the next level to exclusivity. She was tired of catting around with countless men. Denny was full time material. She intended on asking Weldon for a divorce and would commit to Denny full time. The sex was great. He wasn’t much of a stud but he did keep in shape. Not bad for someone who was for all practical purposes, balding prematurely. At least he wasn’t a troll with a comb over.
She strode to the door, opened it and struck a sexy pose.
“Come on in big boy. I have something special planned.”
“Forget that. We need to talk.”
She looked at him and saw that he was quite serious. “You’re right, Dennis we do need to talk!
“I have something I need to tell you. I am divorcing Weldon so we can be together.”
“You what?” Denny felt like he wanted to puke. This was just meant as a bit of fun. He wanted to end it and she was talking love and marriage. After the first one with Nancy tanked he was determined to stay foot-loose.
“I’m getting rid of the old bore.”
He started pacing and looked agitated.
“That’s what you want isn’t it? The woman was sitting on the edge of the couch looking at him imploringly.
“No Melissa, that’s not what I want. I came to tell you that I want out. I have decided to stop going to the social club.
“Well that’s good, I am quitting too. We can have a real relationship.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t want one, not with you.”
Melissa stood up and excused herself and headed for the ladies room. She refused to let him see her cry.
Denny hated weepy women. He made his way out to the balcony and was looking at the skyline and waited for the woman to compose herself. It seemed like awhile but then he heard her approaching. He turned to see her dressed in a leather corset still sporting the heels.
“Melissa I told you it’s over.”
“Look loser, it’s over when I say it’s over.”
He looked closer and saw that she had a bullwhip in one hand and a colt 45 in the other.
“The way I see it, Dennis you have two choices. Strip or die! Melissa was cracking the whip as she waved the gun at him.
She’s got more talent than I thought she had. There I thought she couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time. If his life weren’t being threatened at the time, this could be a real turn on.
“Start stripping or I start shooting.”
He started removing his clothes before bullets started flying. He was down to the boxers when she took off one of her heels. What Denny didn’t know was that she had a gift with throwing stars, as she had learned from a knife thrower at the circus. With careful aim she hit her target and he went over the balcony. His scream died just as he hit something solid.
The woman was dressed in a satin negligee and a pair of four inch spiked heels. She wasn’t wearing much else. She awaited her lover for their usual afternoon together. Her husband was a fortune five hundred financier who was never home. She spent the majority of her time going from man to man in the buildings social club. What a crock that was; everyone knew that it was free sex for a bunch of horny people. Some did partner swapping; others like her trolled the other singles and did a few threesomes. She disgusted herself but this beat popcorn and movie night with the cat.
Her lover was knocking at the door. It was time to launch into the grand seduction and move the affair to the next level to exclusivity. She was tired of catting around with countless men. Denny was full time material. She intended on asking Weldon for a divorce and would commit to Denny full time. The sex was great. He wasn’t much of a stud but he did keep in shape. Not bad for someone who was for all practical purposes, balding prematurely. At least he wasn’t a troll with a comb over.
She strode to the door, opened it and struck a sexy pose.
“Come on in big boy. I have something special planned.”
“Forget that. We need to talk.”
She looked at him and saw that he was quite serious. “You’re right, Dennis we do need to talk!
“I have something I need to tell you. I am divorcing Weldon so we can be together.”
“You what?” Denny felt like he wanted to puke. This was just meant as a bit of fun. He wanted to end it and she was talking love and marriage. After the first one with Nancy tanked he was determined to stay foot-loose.
“I’m getting rid of the old bore.”
He started pacing and looked agitated.
“That’s what you want isn’t it? The woman was sitting on the edge of the couch looking at him imploringly.
“No Melissa, that’s not what I want. I came to tell you that I want out. I have decided to stop going to the social club.
“Well that’s good, I am quitting too. We can have a real relationship.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t want one, not with you.”
Melissa stood up and excused herself and headed for the ladies room. She refused to let him see her cry.
Denny hated weepy women. He made his way out to the balcony and was looking at the skyline and waited for the woman to compose herself. It seemed like awhile but then he heard her approaching. He turned to see her dressed in a leather corset still sporting the heels.
“Melissa I told you it’s over.”
“Look loser, it’s over when I say it’s over.”
He looked closer and saw that she had a bullwhip in one hand and a colt 45 in the other.
“The way I see it, Dennis you have two choices. Strip or die! Melissa was cracking the whip as she waved the gun at him.
She’s got more talent than I thought she had. There I thought she couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time. If his life weren’t being threatened at the time, this could be a real turn on.
“Start stripping or I start shooting.”
He started removing his clothes before bullets started flying. He was down to the boxers when she took off one of her heels. What Denny didn’t know was that she had a gift with throwing stars, as she had learned from a knife thrower at the circus. With careful aim she hit her target and he went over the balcony. His scream died just as he hit something solid.
Review by C. Giguere
I was surprised several times by this book and that’s hard to do to this reader these days. Karen Vaughan has cleverly weaved a murder mystery that had me thinking I knew what was about to happen. “Dead Men Don’t Swing” is an easy and entertaining read in which a married woman kills her lover who decided to dump her. Of course Laura Fitzpatrick is the one to discover the body and is thrown straight into the melee of murder, swingers and insane tenants.
Laura has become a likeable character and though you do need to suspend disbelief in some of these situations, it’s still a fun read. I do have to warn you not to get too overconfident like I did as the story reached its climax. I thought I was about to seriously disappointed in the ending and I wasn’t. So here’s my take, if you need to be entertained this is the book for you.
Laura has become a likeable character and though you do need to suspend disbelief in some of these situations, it’s still a fun read. I do have to warn you not to get too overconfident like I did as the story reached its climax. I thought I was about to seriously disappointed in the ending and I wasn’t. So here’s my take, if you need to be entertained this is the book for you.
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